Day three (3)

I'm a little late, because I had to work extra yesterday, so by the time I could sit in front of my computer, I was too tired and just ready to sleep, haha. So I'm doing day three and day four in one, just a few hours apart. Here I go.


Dear Mom,

All the words in the world could not express how much I love and cherish you and how much I appreciate every little thing that you do every single day. And even though we're separated by an entire continent at the moment, I'm able to stand here and go forward because you raised me with the strength of a lioness, always willing to go that extra mile and never willing to give up. I owe it all to you, Mom. I wake up every day and I think of you, hoping that God will keep you in His prayers, because I need you here for as long as possible. I can't imagine living in a world where you aren't, so I wish you only the best of health and a life like you deserve: happy, fulfilling, joyous.

I know it's not always been sunshine and butterflies, but even when we had our rough times, you were still the one person I could always count on, no matter what. Always with a kind word and a smile that lights up my heart, Mom, you're the best thing that ever happened on Earth. And while you may never read this letter, I know you are aware of all these things, because even if I don't take the time to say them, I'm definitely doing my best to show them. You've always made me feel like I can do anything and be anything I ever wanted and it is because of that that I can be here on my own and not feel like I'm drowning. Quite the opposite, I feel like I can climb Mount Everest with my bare hands, if needed. Thanks to you, Mom.

I am eternally grateful for being your daughter, I couldn't have asked for a better mother and I wouldn't, even if I could. Because you're MY mom and that says it all.

Love,
Cristina.




Dear Dad,

What can I even say? I was raised to believe that a normal family has a mother and a father, but I never had a father. You were always too busy working or drinking and I never felt that warm feeling of a dad. But I know now it wasn't your fault, you weren't doing it on purpose. Sure, I grew up to be a neurotic bipolar young adult, but when life gives you lemons, you gotta try and make lemonade, right? Right.

Nevertheless. I always tried to please you, from small things like learning to love football only because it's something you like; to bigger things like following in your academic footsteps and going to a school I absolutely despised. Did it matter? I think not. And now, even though I'm miles and miles away, you still can't help yourself and HAVE to say mean things to me. And while I try to pretend they don't hurt, they always do. But I'm so much stronger now, they won't wear me down. Never again. I understood, much too late, that there's no pleasing you. You are who you are and I love you just the same. I'm just tired of making it your way. I'm doing it my way now and there's absolutely nothing you can do. And I'm not going to apologize for it either.

And still...I type all of that while thinking that it's all true, but I don't care about any of that. I love you and though you weren't a perfect dad, at least you were there sometimes. And for those times, I thank you. For that and for teaching me a few valuable lessons for life. I just hate when you make me feel worthless and stupid, because I know for sure that I am not. And maybe it's time that you knew it, too. Which is why I'm here, far away from you, trying to prove that I CAN do it by myself. Cause if there's anything you taught me, it's that if you want good things to come your way, you have to make them happen. So, watch me, Dad.


Love,
Your eldest daughter, Cristina.